Cherry Indigo: September 2005

I've added "word verification" to the comment area to block spammers. My apologies.

Friday, September 30, 2005

This Time of Year...

(I tried a new font and the normal size makes it this small....but I think I like this one.)

God, I love autumn SO much...

I have off today and so far it’s been a great morning. After lounging in bed for an hour, watching a few episodes from the first season of “Friends” on DVD and listening to Einstein purr beside me (he’s not always a snuggly cat so I have to take my moments when I get them), I got up, checked email and be-bopped around the house a little: restarting the dryer from last night to de-wrinkle my laundry, checking on iTunes downloads (Alabama’s Essential Hits, Meatloaf, Frankie Valli, Sting), opening the blinds, stuff like that. By that time Einstein was sitting at the back door yowling – he loves to go out but it must be supervised and even that is a challenge sometimes.

So, I changed into some comfy flannel pants and a Penn State sweatshirt, made some tea, grabbed a Pop-Tart and my laptop and now I’m out back, enjoying this wonderfully cool morning….as Einstein explores the wonders that make up the back yard. Little did I know the fascination that lies beneath the drain spout.

Last week I was out here grilling a burger and fries and ate at the patio table. The sun was going down, the deer were in the yard feeding, the little man was actually within sight and all was right with the world. Since my laptop was close by, I had to email a friend at that moment to tell her that it felt and smelled like a Friday night high school football game. And I LOVED football games in high school…they are some of my fondest memories. We've decided to find a game at a local high school during one of the remaining Friday nights in October.

This is that time of year when boots come out of the boxes on the top shelf of the closet, leather jackets are moved closer to the middle of the rack and the windows are cracked at night to let a cold breeze in while you snuggle deep beneath a down comforter. You no longer have to light a candle to make the house smell like cinnamon or pumpkin and an entire afternoon can vanish like a blink as you sit and watch leaves fall with varying degrees of abandonment.

This is my favorite time of year to visit college campuses and just wile away a day under a tree with a book; or slowly walk the leaf covered paths that wind around until I’m lost and need to ask some kind student to direct me back to the parking lot near Barrett, Stonely or Perry Hall….all those buildings have those cool, pedigree laden names.

I can’t wait to see what Trick or Treat is like in this neighborhood, given it’s my first Halloween here and it seems to be a safe place for kids to partake of that age old tradition. I love the thought of the little 4 and 5 year olds trudging around in their too big costume that their older siblings wore not too many years ago. Dragging their bags on the ground until they reach that precarious stage of almost busting open…how heartbreaking was it the first time you realized that candy was leaking all over the street from your plastic pumpkin face bag? You only have to learn that lesson once.

I want to spend an afternoon in the city, visiting book stores, sitting in the park watching the kids play a pick-up game of basketball, basking in the sunlight as I enjoy a late lunch with a friend at an outdoor cafe. Then we end the day, briskly walking back to the car in the fading light, coats pulled tight around us as we brush up against one another in the cold wind that tunnels between the buildings, our bodies not quite accustomed to the change in the weather yet.

There’s a song by “Better Than Ezra”, from their “Deluxe” album. It’s called “This Time of Year”. The first time I heard it must have been 15 years ago and, in an instant, it became one of my favorite songs...it completely surrounds the way I feel at the start of every autumn season. It’s been far too long since I’ve heard it and I will, no doubt, go from writing this to my CD collection and let it repeat over and over until I don’t realize it’s even playing anymore.

Well, there's a feeling in the air,
Just like a Friday afternoon
Yeah, you can go there if you want
Though it fades too soon

So go on, let it be.
If there's a feeling coming over me,
Seems like it's always understood this time of year.

Well, I know there's a reason to change.
Well, I know there's a time for us.
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad.
You can feel it in the air,
Feeling right this time of year.

Well, there's a football in the air,
Across a leaf blown field.
Yeah, and there's your first car on the road,
And the girl you'd steal.

So go on with yourself
If there's a feeling that there's something else.
Seems like it's always understood
This time of year.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Hail to the Chief

I admit it, I couldn't wait to watch "Commander in Chief" last night. The idea of a woman president becomes more and more of a reality as we go further and further into the future. I read an article in "Radar" about the very real possibility that Hillary Clinton may run in 2008. It was an interesting read since she has, for so long, been criticized for being so mannish...most times by the Republican party....and now it could bite them in the ass since that might be the very quality that makes her a credible contender.

I've not yet decided if I would vote for her. I'm trying to keep a vigilant eye on her to see what she's up to these days and in the next couple years but have been less then disciplined about it. She intrigues me, however. I'd like to say that she's someone with whom I'd like to have lunch (and she is) but she is so freaking intelligent that I’d probably just sit there staring at her, jaw on my plate, chewed Chicken Caesar Salad exposed to all, wondering what the hell she was talking about….a filibuster? Huh? Was that on the dessert tray? Yeah, okay, I’ll have one, too. With chocolate sauce, please.

*** SPOILER IN THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH - SORT OF ****
Back to Mackenzie Spencer Allen, the fictitious first woman president. I'm really curious to discuss this with others to see what they think of the show, the idea and her decision to take office and not resign, as her own president asked her to do. (The spolier sort of being that she decided to take office...but really, had she not, there'd be no show.)

I missed the last 20 minutes because I thought I was taping it but, turns out, I wasn't....don't get me started again on Comcast's On Demand. So now I'm looking for the text of the speech or someone who has it taped so I can know what she said.

I hope this show turns out to be as good as it has potential to be. It's been a long time since I've been invested in a network show, this one could do it. But if they ever write an accidental, late life pregnancy into it, I'll throw up. C'mon, writers, let's have some fun with her menopause years!

(I might soon be done with messing around with my fonts...not that I'm satisfied yet, but maybe done for a while because I've lost motivation for caring about them.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Live and Let Drive

Andrew Sullivan and I are at odds again. Over the same damn thing. An entry from Andrew’s web site today…

BUSH IN CARTER-LAND: The president is now asking Americans to conserve gas? I wonder what's next. Will he ask his own government to balance its budget? Not so long ago, the vice-president derided conservation as a matter of "personal vanity." Now it's a national duty? Once again, you see how incoherent this presidency has become. If a government wants to conserve a particular product, it does not need to make rhetorical pleas for people not to use it. It can adjust its own policies to make us more fuel-efficient and less dependent on foreign oil, especially from the Persian Gulf. The Bush administration has, alas, never made this a priority. I think they're right to drill in ANWR and encourage new energy development in the U.S. and they've been better on fuel standards than their critics will concede. But the obvious complement to this - conservation and sane energy taxes - remains unthinkable to them. Simply put: We need to increase the cost of gas to force the auto industry to move to newer, better fuels and (force) consumers to make wiser choices. A phased in gas tax of a dollar on the gallon is a tax that most sane economists support, helps wean us off foreign oil, helps the environment, and defunds the terror-masters. Bush should have proposed it as an anti-terror message after 9/11. Pathetic pleas now to stop driving on Sundays and the like are no substitute for something that actually might solve the basic problem. Look: I'm a low tax kind of guy. I support Bush's tax cuts on most areas (I exclude the estate tax, because it rewards inheritance rather than work). But this is an area that, in every substantive regard, is a win-win. Except that politically, it's lose-lose. The test of leadership is whether a person can persuade people that an unpopular measure is still better for everyone in the long run. Has Bush ever done such a thing? Or even tried to?

Now, I must preface this with the fact that I realize Mr. Sullivan is making a point against the current administration…it’s how he argues the point that irritates me.

What made the corners of my mouth droop in disgust is bolded….about forcing consumers to make wiser choices. Of course, he is alluding to SUVs…again. This really pisses me off. First of all, I believe all vehicles must meet federal requirements that determine how cars are designed, built, manufactured, etc. So, when you get down to brass tacks, the government ALLOWED this unwise choice of automobile to be manufactured. Gee, I don’t suppose it had anything to do with the fact that consumers would have to buy more gas and, thus, pump more money into the economy and government – could it? Nah. That’s just crazy talk.

If the government doesn’t want people to unwisely choose SUVs as their primary vehicle….stop making them!!! Hello?!! American consumers, out of the goodness of their hearts, are not going to collectively decide to stop buying these vehicles, because, let’s face it, there will always be people who can afford to put gas in them. So, Andrew, until you convince the government to stop provinding this awful choice of vehicles, you should shut up – you’re wasting your breath. And I happen to think Hummer’s are the most ridiculous vehicle ever manufactured for commercial use but if someone wants to drive one it’s nobody’s fault but our own society’s. (And even I'll admit that when they arrived on the scene, I was a little seduced at first.)

Where Andrew and I DO agree, however, is with the administration’s plea to conserve gas. Now. When there’s a problem. Until the problem goes away. Idiots.

I want to know when the government will make it easier to not own/drive a car in the U.S by providing a well developed, WELL RUN and WELL MAINTAINED public transporation system. This country encourages ownership of motor vehicles. (China has now started down the same road, btw.) Having traveled a good part of the world, I can safely say that this country’s public transportation system is a travesty….and that’s not news to anyone but there are so few things that I can safely say, that I like to point out those that I can. It’s a small joy I have in my life….please don’t deny me it.

I would love nothing more then to walk to a station at the end of my street and get on a train that would drop me near my office. Sweet! One of my great joys when I visit our international offices is walking to work each morning…it’s awesome….even when it rains. If I lived in the city today, I’d have to take a bus to a station to grab a train to a station near my office, where I can then catch a bus to the office park. Doesn’t that sound pleasant? What the hell.

I agree we can be more gas concious and I applaud the new hybrids that are finally coming to market. It’s been my understanding that we’ve had this technology for many years but the government blocked it because the oil business is far too lucrative. I’m even considering a hybrid for my next car…Lexus makes an SUV type of vehicle that’s a hybrid. I’ve offerred those people on my staff who are equipped to work at home to do so once or twice a week and I am doing the same. I’m even driving more slowly in an effort to do my miniscule part.

When will the government do theirs? (And I can do more, I know.)

So, while I agree with Andrew’s overall point, I wish he’d stop pounding on the SUV owners. If I want to own an SUV, it’s my choice…if you don’t, that’s yours.

New Cosmo Survey!

I like to check in with Dave Barry’s web site once in a while. He has an interesting blog in that it mostly references other online articles. Today, he actually wrote this himself.

So I am as usual in the airport, and I'm buying newspapers, and there on display at the counter is Cosmopolitan Magazine, and as usual the cover photo is of a woman dressed for the Senior Prom at Harlot State University, and as usual the articles listed on the cover are all about sex, as in "101 SEX TIPS!'"; "SEXY HAIR!"; "SEX UP YOUR GUM TISSUE!"; etc. So my question is: Do women really and truly think about sex that much? I mean, we know that guys do, but you can tell that from watching guys in real life. You cannot tell -- at least I cannot tell -- from watching women that they are thinking about sex all the time, but to judge from Cosmopolitan, which has been using the same cover successfully since the Civil War ("53 WAYS TO FIRM UP HIS MUSKET!") they are. So, women: What is the deal?

There were 48 comments (that was yesterday - when I checked today, there were 146). I was half inclined to comment myself with one simple phrase, “Is this a trick question?” I read about a dozen of the responses until they started getting a) repetitive, b) stupid and c) loooonnngggg. Now, I know I’m a big blowhard and can chatter away on here as well as the next person but there were people on there with dissertations in response to this question. Any response should have been this easy…

1) "Cosmo" does that because sex sells….hello?!
2) Yes, women think about sex, too (or no, I guess – the poor dears)

Done. What more would be needed?

Some nitwit on there, “Queenbee”, (WRONGLY) thinks women only really think about sex between the ages of 18 and 24. What the hell is THAT?! Is she kidding?! I must be a complete nypho then because it didn’t even get REALLY interesting until 24. I mean, c’mon, am I the only one out there who gets more sexually liberated each and every year? I know I’m not...I can't be. I’m still looking forward to my 40s because, from everything I’ve read, that’s when it REALLY gets good…I can’t freakin’ wait.

Now, I know that sex is not everything (it’s the only thing – kidding) but it’s DAMN important….especially when it’s so wonderfully mixed with love. And I’m certainly not someone who always has to “make love” – puke. When you’re with someone you love or are in love with, you’re always making love…even when you’re having sex or just flat out fucking. At least that’s my opinion.

I do wonder if the answer is VASTLY different for lesbians and straight girls. I tend to think it isn’t.

I was just flabbergasted by some of the responses on that site. However, to be completely honest, the question itself begs extreme modification. Every person is unique and there is no way one can ask a universal question like that, about something so personal and individual, and expect one answer. For every person, you’d have a different answer, even if the difference is slight. And I am certainly not responding via a blanket…this is my own personal opinion.

Quite frankly, maybe Dave’s a little horny from being on the road so much and was looking for some cheap thrills. It’s quite clever…get women to talk about their sexual appetites by disguising it as a real journalism type survey. Brilliant!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Bosco!! Bosco!!!

I lost my freaking ATM card again. I think. It can only be a couple places. I definitely used it at the Genuardi’s over the weekend. Other then that, I can only think of one other possibility – when I was out over the weekend (after the Genuardi’s visit) I had my money, credit cards, etc. in my wallet and I was also carrying the same items for a friend. So, perhaps (and hopefully!!) when I gave his stuff back to him, I also gave him my ATM card.

Unfortunately, he’s away for a few days and I can’t contact him to find out if he has it or not. I’ll have to wait until the weekend I guess. In the meantime, I am willing to take almost anyone out to dinner so that I can charge the whole affair and get cash from the other person…okay, okay, so that’s not EXACTLY “taking” someone to dinner but it’s close….and I’d thank the person later by going out for real and treating.

I’m becoming more and more in favor of advanced technology for this type of thing (ATM cards/credit cards/etc.)…like an implant or eye scan or, I dunno, a DVD that can teach me not to lose things. And I never used to lose stuff so much. Is this a symptom of getting older? This will be the second time in 2 years (I think) that I’ve lost the damn thing. And it will be the second time in 2 years that I've gotten older. Coincidence? I think not.

I’m trying to avoid talking about the deer…because even I think it’s starting to get weird… but I do have to say that Einstein went after a couple of them last evening. (I guess I could categorize that as talking about my cat.) He was ready to pounce on 6 of them the night before but last night he actually ran towards them…swiftly. Thank God they ran off and didn’t use him as a fuzzy little ball for their reindeer games….hey, do you think generic, run-of-the-mill deer are allowed to play reindeer games or is that a big faux pas in the animal kingdom?

For a LOT of reasons, I’m REALLY looking forward to the weekend…

The Road Less Traveled

The Turnpike Loophole.

I've been thinking about how I would compose this for the past day or two - in the back of my mind while I sit bored in meetings - and any way I slice it will result in what seems like a word problem from 7th grade. You know the ones…if a brown dog is pissing on a red fire hydrant with his left leg up and a white dog is pissing on a yellow fire hydrant with his right leg up, how many of the grocer's apples will go bad by Tuesday?

When I was first introduced to word problems, I LOVED them….they were like little stories and stories are a great way to explain things to my wee little brain. But then they got difficult and I found that I really DIDN'T give a shit if the water was going to evaporate in the bottle before the Canadian jet stream got strong enough to knock it from the northerly facing wall. I know, in some way and on some level, they were helpful and I've used that skill without even knowing it but I refuse to admit it out loud. On to the Turnpike, however….

So here's the deal. I live not too far from the back access road of a PA Turnpike service plaza. I completely discovered this by accident while I was on my way to the park one day (Einstein likes to go for drives in the car, believe it or not - but I don't let him drive yet). I admit that I always wondered how those folks got to work. Now, as with most turnpike exits, there is a service plaza on the west side of the exit and another on the east side of the exit. So, I pass a service plaza going home but I'd have to go way out of my way to pass one on the way to work.

As I was driving home one day, traffic started to back up a little, not too many miles before the exit and just before the service plaza entrance. My mind immediately said, "Hey, get off at the service plaza and go out the back access road and get home that way." Eureka!! What a freaking brilliant idea! Or was it?

Before I could decide, traffic started to break up and I just got off the normal exit and went through the toll. But then I started wondering what would have happened had I taken the access road. And, is the result different if you have EZ Pass vs. taking a ticket? This will only apply on the way home, of course and, to be PERFECTLY CLEAR, I have no intention of ever doing this. I've discussed this with a couple friends and the one always says, "Oh, just pay the eighty-five cents, Cindy." It's not about the money at all - I just want to know if I've actually discovered a loophole or not. Probably not, but the possibility intrigues me.

First, with EZ Pass:
If I get on in the EZ Pass lane, it will pick up where I entered. Then, if I get off at the servplaz, it will not record my exit anywhere. Would I get charged the entire amount to the end of the turnpike? Or, when I enter the next day, would it assume I got off there, too, and just charge me regularly? I don't think this works with EZ Pass because there are too many ways to track it and the Turnpike Authority has a record of your driving habits and would probably figure it out. EZ Pass does not do well in the loophole test.

Without EZ Pass / Taking a Ticket:
I get on the turnpike, take the ticket and exit at the access road. There is probably a record that a ticket is taken but I highly doubt it is associated with a car. Sure, the camera can tell that I took a ticket…but I doubt there is a reference number on the ticket that matches it with my vehicle. So how would they ever know that I didn't exit? Or, even if they knew that 1000 tickets were issued on a given day, do they then coorelate that with how many were turned back in? (I wonder what happens to all the tickets that are collected.) And even if 1000 tickets were distributed and only 958 came back…would they care enough to do something about it? Here's where there could be a catch…

1. The number of tickets going out is more then what's coming in.
2. They have pictures of all cars that go through the tolls and take tickets.
3. They have pictures of any cars using the access road at the service plaza.
And 4. Then they'd actually have to put in the effort to match all that data up.

Just to catch me and collect their eighty-five cents.

I can't believe I just spent any amount of time and effort writing this. I deserve a good beating sometimes.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Cuddle Parties...

This is one of the columns on The Stranger that I just read. The part about the ugly children and math problems made me laugh WAY out loud. I had to stop and post this before I kept going. The rest might be boring....I don't care, I'm going to read that part again.

I wonder if Philly will be catching this wave? If I'm going to be that close to someone and you're good looking, pajamas are coming off. And if I need hug-therapy for traumatic events, I'll buy a fucking teddy bear. Yeah, I know, they don't hug back. You know how they make cat toys stuffed with catnip? I wonder if I can get a bear stuffed with marijuana? I can light it on fire and I won't care if it hugs back or not. Just wait, next year they'll be all the rage.

Take Two Pebbles and Call Me a Cab...

I hate migraines. Well, duh, of course. I’ve yet to meet anyone who likes them so that’s really a pretty stupid way to start any conversation, sentence, play, song, etc. Although, that would be a pretty funny song subject. Anyway, I got one today at work. Luckily, I know exactly what the sign is to let me know that I’m getting one (blurry peripheral vision) and exactly how to get rid of it before it gets bad (3 Advil and 30 minutes with my eyes closed). So, that’s what I did this afternoon. However, as I’m driving home, with the beginnings of this migraine, a thought occurs to me –

Can you imagine being one of the first people to ever get a migraine? What the hell must that man or woman been thinking when this happened? For simplicity’s sake, we’ll assume it was a woman. She must have thought her skull was splitting in half….and not in a good way. I wonder what happened to all the people in the days prior to modern medicine that got migraines. There was no running to the Double Wa for some Excedrin. I know they had all kinds of herbal remedies back then but I wonder if anyone ever died from a migraine. Can people still die from a migraine? I imagine it must be EXTREMELY rare. What do they put in your obit? “The big Mary died of a headache.” That wouldn’t be right.

***

So, I have still not figured out why blowing smoke in somone’s face means you want to have sex with them. And I’ve done some research. Is this something that smokers are taught at a certain time? Do they wait until you’ve bought your 12th pack of cigarettes and then tell you that and the other smoking secrets? Like, how to keep a freaking match lit in the wind without burning your hand off or how to do that really cool flick thing with the butts? Until someone told me, I had no idea about the smoke in the face thing. If it ever happened to me before I knew what it meant, I probably walked away, thinking what a rude asshole that person was. I’d just like to know how it originated….I’m sort of fascinated by things like that.

***

I found one of the weirdest (but funniest) columns a few weeks back. It’s on "The Stranger" web site, about halfway down on the middle right. It’s called “Savage Love”, written by Dan Savage. It’s sort of like Dear Abby for every freaky relationship / sex situation you can think of. I’m tempted to make something up just to see what he says….but I’m sure most of his writers are doing that exact same thing. Some of the stuff on there is pretty damn weird though…and for the stuff that’s true…it’s just sad. What I love the most are his responses….he just cuts right through the bullshit. I have no idea who he is – just that he a homosexual who is going to tell it to you straight - but I love reading this column. I’ve just started checking out other columns on that site.

***

I’ve been meaning to write about the possible loophole I found on the Turnpike. I’m going to try to get to that in the next day or two. It might make more sense to me if I write it down and maybe I can figure out if it truly exists or not.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Bunnies, Ducks and Puppies

Okay, everything on here today is about cute things! (Even the font color) How girly… I don’t care.

To start, this is THE cutest picture ever!!!! And, as the title indicates, the cutest costume ever!! I love it and what an imagination the person who came up with it has! I have the imagination of a stick so I am blown away by this.

Next, the deer, of course. There were about TEN deer lined up along the side of the road yesterday morning, grazing. I have to think they were on their way home from a rockin’, kick-ass deer party and this was their version of stopping at Denny’s. And a lot of them looked to be youngters…underage grazing…let’s hope they didn’t get caught. Of course, it scared the beejezus outta me when I saw them all that close to the road and I almost wrecked as I yelled at them to back off! As Nan would say, “I have two words for you: air horn.”

There is a little tiny fern growing near my patio…I haven’t taken a picture of it yet but maybe I will. It’s little! I notice it everyday and like it a lot.

The new iPod nano…have you seen this thing? CUTE! But I refuse to buy one. The one I have is small enough. What I do want, however, is a Razr phone…that thing is cool and I saw the black model live and in person the other day.

This is anyone's call on level of cuteness. Some people just think they are annoying...I waver on them myself. Furbys. These little creatures of mid-90s fame came up in a conversation yesterday and I tracked down this site with their noises. This morning, I consider them cute...by this afternoon, I might want to stab one in the head with a Razr phone.

Well, I thought I had a lot more cute things to discuss. I guess I could make things up, but I won’t. I know the cat has done something cute lately (he is a constant source of that) but that’s normal stuff….oh!! I remember!

My friend Di sent me these two links ( this one and this one) - the pictures on here are really cute!! I KNEW there was something else.

Okay, thus ends the Parade of Cute Things for today.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

But Can't I Do Both?

I was going to write this whole diatribe about being opinionated, but it takes away from the cartoon, which stands on its own.

So I'll shut up.

Monday, September 12, 2005

The Graduate

Okay, time for some blog changes…I liken this to moving the furniture around…except it’s fonts. I remember moving furniture in a room being one of the most exciting things to do when I was a kid. I can’t possibly recall why it was so exciting but I just loved it. Changing my room around was one thing…and that didn’t happen too often since my sister and I were limited in our options…but when the living room got changed around, it was like we had moved! Of course, that’s when you also found out just how much dust and dirt and crumbs had gathered behind or underneath the furniture and we always had to vacuum the floor and dust the baseboards before my Mom would put stuff in place. Have I ever mentioned that we were little slaves? That might be a story for another time.

I digress…

What a great weekend. Great weather. Great company. Great things to do. I’ve become one of those people who live for the weekends…which sounds odd to most people. But I was such a workaholic for so long that weekends were just more hours to get things done at work…now I just love them and look forward to not working on the weekends.

So, I think it does turn out that last week (if you happened to tune in), besides being a pressure cooker at work, was a giant dose of PMS. I can only speculate, with any confidence, to that being the reason for my bitchiness because it just went away on Friday/Saturday....a little shrapnel here and there but nothing damaging. So, whatever it was, it seems to have passed and, hopefully, I didn’t do anything stupid enough to leave a wake of angry friends or family. If this is what I can anticipate with menopause I’m going to start looking into how to have that medically removed or else I’ll end up in a cell – I just don’t know if it will be the kind with bars or padding.

So Michael Brown resigned today….gee, who couldn’t see that coming? There’s really nothing to even comment on…it’s all been said.

Brittany Spears may or may not have had a child today. I just…I can’t….she just isn’t……God. My head hurts.

First Monday night football game of the season!! Yeah!! And first Eagles game!! Double yeah!!

Not a lot to say today because, well, I’m just getting back to feeling like myself. I’m on the patio right now, as usual, and “A People’s History…” is on the table, tempting me. So, off I go…back into Revolutionary times.

I have the song “Mrs. Robinson” stuck in my head. Where HAVE you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

Coo coo ca-choo.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I Am Joe's Utter Contempt

I am just the biggest bitch this week…and I don’t know why. I’m HOPING that it’s a giant and not regularly schedule dose of PMS. If it’s not, I don’t know what it is. I had this tremendous weekend – the absolute best! – and then Tuesday hit (someone I know referred to it as a “double Monday” because of the holiday…I like that) and all hell broke loose with my mood.

I feel like the love child of Meredith Brooks and Alanis Morissette.

I hope this goes away soon. Yuk.

It might be time to drag the heavy bag out and beat the shit out of it.

TomKatPuke

Tom will make such a lovely bride. I found this today.

(I tried REALLY hard to find a way to paste a veil into this picture...on Tom's head, of course, but I just couldn't get it right.)

Katie Holmes Will Be Known as Kate Cruise

Old fashioned Katie Holmes says she is planning on taking Tom Cruise's surname when the two eventually wed. The "Batman Begins" actress, who will be Tom's third wife, will be dubbed Kate Cruise and not Katie Cruise. She says (if you watched closely, you could see Tom's lips moving, too) she will use the name both personally and professionally. A source told "In Touch" magazine, "Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally."

Tom (why Tom? why not Katie, I mean Kate?) has hired wedding planners and told them to spend millions of dollars designing an Arabian Knights-themed ceremony on a sandy beach at the Maroma resort in Mexico.

Arabian Knights??

I wonder if he picks out her clothes each morning, cuts her meat at dinner time and makes sure she completely wipes her ass whenever she poops.

I Could Never Be in Advertising...

I was at the chiropractor today for my regular appointment. The last thing you do while there is lay on the table with the rolling thing that helps separate your vertebrae...it feels good. My chiropractor, who I love, sells these therapeutic pillows, which help a lot if you can get used to sleeping on them.

Tangent…

I didn’t get used to the pillow and gave up. I always woke up with my head on the shelf part, facing up, or my face buried in the little canyon. It’s now in the closet with the eye mask you freeze that always ended up halfway around my head, covering one ear; the roller you put under your knees that always ended up jammed at the bottom of the bed; the water fall thing that makes me have to pee; and my head gear from 7th grade.

End tangent…

My chiro has advertisement posters for these pillows and has cleverly hung one on the ceiling above one of the tables with the rolling thing. It talks about the great night sleep you will get and how you’ll stop snoring and such things. That all makes sense. I’ve seen the poster a hundred times, although I usually just glance at it and then doze until the timer shuts off, the rolling things stop and I wake up. Today, for whatever reason, I gave it more then a glance and I see the pictures referenced here. Why are these people awake?! I don’t get it.

I was so distracted, I didn’t get my 8 minute nap. Damn it.
Stupid awake sleeping models!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Einstein

This is my cat, Einstein. He has been bugging me to put his picture up. I think he is jealous of Gatsby.

He is named Einstein for two reasons. When I first got him, he didn't seem like the brightest thing on four legs, so I figured the name would either be an oxymoron or he'd grow into it. He turned out to be brighter then I had originally suspected....though he still has his moments....and he has even learned to fold my socks. And you can see his little bent tail in this picture. ^..^--7 You can do it with whiskers, too. >^..^<

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Revenge of the Ner --- Well, Me.

I was talking to a friend of mine….hang on, I have to start over because now all I can hear is “Don’t Do Me Like That” and, while that’s a great song, I can’t sit here and inadvertently plagiarize Tom Petty. I will plagiarize other people, you can count on it, and I will admit when I am doing it but I mean, c’mon, it’s Tom Petty and a great song. Can’t do it.

Take II

I was talking to Di, a friend at work, the other day. We were catching up on the usual subjects….personal life, love life, work, world news, getting together for a movie next week and so forth. I mentioned the book “Freakonomics” to her and told her that I really thought she would like it. I had to repeat the title 3 times because I speak very fast and often mumble…not a good combination and I try to work on that constantly and don’t always have success.

After that, I also mentioned something about Wil Wheaton and, as I’ve said before, how much I enjoy his writing. I think it was after the phrase, “I read his blog every day” that she replied with “You really are a geek, aren’t you?” Of course, being the geek that I am, I excitedly told her, “That’s the name of his book! 'Just a Geek'!” And then I had to agree that I am indeed a geek…and not just the cute, lovable kind that outgrew it in 7th grade. This went on well into my 20s. It was sad.

I’ve already provided some insight into that when I admitted to loving “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, “The X-Files” and DragonRealms – an online role playing game. The truth of the matter is; I was just playing DragonRealms (DR in geekspeak) a few years ago. If it didn’t take up SO much time and the internet hadn’t become such a scary place, I’d probably still be playing it. I think I stopped playing in 2001. I think. It could have been the year after.

And with “The X-Files”…well, I was one of the people who saw the movie the first weekend it was out. I don’t think “The X-Files” makes me TOO much of a geek though, a lot of people really got hooked on the show. What separates me from the culturally hip people who watched is that I actually bought the action figures after the movie came out. (As collectibles, not to play with. Stop it.) Yes, you read that right…I had (or have – yikes) the action figures…all 2 or 3 sets of them. I can’t even recall how many there were. I would like to say that I have since sold them on eBay for a small, let’s-go-out-and-have-an-extravagant-dinner fortune. I didn’t…I’m almost positive about this point. I THINK…I’m not sure…but I THINK they are still in T's basement. I also read the books…but not all of them…I was growing out of my geek phase by then. BTW – I did look on eBay to see what the action figures are going for…it’s not much….the extravagant dinner would have to be at Wendy’s and I would have to go by myself (for several reasons, as you can guess).

I probably should have seen all this coming years ago. I was in band…all of them…Marching Band, Concert Band, Orchestra. And I loved it. Now, part of that is due to my love of music and that’s a cool thing. But in marching band….well, we thought we were the shit. And what’s worse, we honestly believed that other people thought we were the shit. I mean, we won awards, for cryin’ out loud! How could we not be cool?! And there is a small possibility that we were not the losers we would have been in another school. I grew up in a rural area (there were cows on a farm across the road from my high school) and the graduating class sizes were small. Everyone knew almost everyone and got along. It was actually the best high school experience I could have ever wished for. Perfect for someone like me. And I got along with all the clicks. (I don’t think that’s how you spell it for the context in which I’m using it but you understand.) I was on the edge of everyone’s group and that was cool.

When I was 9 or 10 (1977ish), my Mom bought “Barry Manilow Live” and you could not have convinced me that Barry Manilow did not epitomize the very essence of good music. I wore that album out and went on to acquire every album he made for the next 10 years. HUGE fan. And I’d be ashamed to admit any of that if he weren’t such a brilliant composer/arranger. It’s still a little hip to have liked Barry Manilow. My aunt, who was also a fan, took me to see him in concert when I was about 13 and I could have died and gone to Heaven right there.

So, there was definitely a pattern emerging. I do think I’ve outgrown it but every once in a while, like the other day, the Geek inside me slips out and reveals part of the true me. I’ve come to terms with it.

Another friend, who knows all these things, warned me, “Don’t tell anyone this stuff. They aren’t ready to hear it. And whatever you do, don’t blog about it!”

Shhhh…..don’t tell her. ;)

Monday (Tuesday) Morning Quarterback

I was watching several of the morning shows on Sunday; “Meet the Press”, “This Week” with George Stephanopoluos (I just wanted to type that to see if I spelled it correctly without looking it up first….let’s see….Stephanopoulos…oh, so close), and some other program of which I missed the name. I was flipping back and forth and, as suspected, all conversation and topic of discussion was about Hurricane Katrina. What was so abominably distressing was that EVERY show was trying to figure out who was at fault for the delay and lack of relief effort! The locals were blaming the Feds, the Feds were blaming the locals, the NAACP was saying it was all about race. With so much work still needed to help these people, I can’t believe this is the best way to use a national media forum.

***

How did blowing smoke in someone’s face ever come to mean, “I want to fuck you.”? I am so curious about this….does anyone know?

***

What a great weekend! I’d like to say that I accomplished all kinds of things around the house (and I did do quite a bit on Saturday) but I didn’t. I relaxed, which most people don’t do often enough anymore. I sat on the patio each morning and watched the cat play, read a book, drank my Red Bull and observed the neighborhood. In the afternoons, I either watched movies or tv, read, talked to friends or sat on the patio some more. Saturday evening I hung out with a couple friends, Sunday I went to a really fun party and danced so much that I was sore the next day and Monday I had a really nice dinner with family. It was wonderful. I almost feel really guilty for not doing more…but it turns out I just feel a little guilty.

***

I finished Wil Wheaton’s book, “Just a Geek”, this weekend. It was mostly about him and his life since Star Trek and whether he should turn his back on it or embrace it and whether he should write or not, and all about building his web site, etc. It wasn’t bad but, as I told a friend, it got a little repetitive. He really seems to be someone who needs a lot of validation from other people and was a little too “poor me” in places. Honestly, I’d like to see him write some fiction, which is what I told my friend.

I had just begun to think that I’d O.Ded on Wil for a while, although I still planned to read his blog. Then, as I’m eating my breakfast this morning I check into his web page and see that a longtime reader has written to Wil that he no longer enjoys his blog and he’s not going to read anymore. I’m not sure why the reader felt the need to do that….just stop reading it if you don’t want to, right?

Wil actually feels compelled to answer this person with a little diatribe about how busy he is and his family issues and his privacy issues and how he’d rather be playing poker because the people running that organization treat him well, etc. and that he might not post to his web site as much he used to. Someone commented to Wil that he has to decide whether he’s going to be in the public eye or not. I sort of have to agree and realized that it summed up Wil’s book. I’d still like to see him write fiction, though.

I haven’t the slightest idea what that was all about – I really just wanted to say that his book wasn’t too bad….I’m going back to “A People’s History…”. “Just a Geek” was a nice, easy holiday reading diversion. And some day I will get into just how much of a geek I was as well….I have something all written on this….I’m just not sure it’s something I’m ready to reveal about myself.

***

And, of course, it’s time to mention the deer again. The two that like to hang out in my backyard were actually laying down near a tree a few nights ago when I came home fairly late. I felt like I had entered a Disney movie and was almost waiting for them to actually speak...except I've never seen a deer tic in a Disney movie....maybe that's its own story.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

PokerStars Tourney

I am posting this because I know there are a couple folks who check in here and also love poker...I don't know if that love carries over to online poker but here is the info anyway. I don't play poker....

***

- sitting around in your backyard with 5 friends, when you are 12, and "playing poker" doesn't count...

"What's an ante?"
"I don't know, let's skip that part."
"I have two Queens."
"All my cards are black. I think I won."
"Shoot. You always win."
- long pause -
"Ummmm...aren't we supposed to bet?"
"We skipped that part."

***

...but if I did play, I'd probably do this.

Also, I'm posting this because I mentioned it yesterday and it's a great idea that's both fun and helpful.

Check out Wil Wheaton's site today...there is a poker tourney, sponsored by PokerStars, that will aid flood victims.

My faith in a future of philanthropy has been restored.

Go fish.

If You Can Read This, You Might Have a Computer

For anyone looking for a new place to donate money for the flood victims, there are (as Nan at Iced Tea NOT Coke would say) a "crap load" of links availabe on
Instapundit.com's flood relief post.

Okay...this might make me a really insensitive person but I'm going to say it anyway. I think it's really great that people want to do so much for the flood victims. I REALLY do...I want to do anything I can, too, which is the only reason I participated in this little excercise to begin with. However, as I sat here typing this entry, I started wondering how this was really helping. Aside from providing people with more charity options then they ever imagined existed, it's not.

Let's face it, you can't turn on the television or radio, pick up a paper, surf the web or talk to someone at work and not find out how to donate to, oh I dunno, let's say the Red Cross...I hear they do charity work. I understand that the blogger community is trying to get the word out but who do they really think they are reaching? (BTW - I can't really consider myself part of "the community" yet. I just moved in and, let's face it, I don't know a lot of my neighbors.) If someone is reading blogs, I'm PRETTY SURE that person has a computer and will see headlines all over the place. People who don't have access to television, radio or print probably don't own a computer either.

Like I said, this probably makes me a big, insensitive, cynical oaf but it just doesn't make a lot of sense to me....outside of giving people a crap load of options. So, there's my silver lining, I suppose. Oh! And maybe there's some added guilt involved if people see these links everywhere...but I doubt it.

I always thought I'd be a good philanthropist...maybe not. I guess I'll need a new retirement plan.

Let the Mudslinging Commence

There are some disturbing posts on Andrew Sullivan's blog this morning. One is regarding monies alledgedly allocated for continued work on the New Orleans levee system that got sucked into the Homeland Security budget. Another is from an evangelical Christian group, pretty much saying that this was God's way of wiping out a wickedly sinful city. A third, from yesterday, is the resignation letter from Susan F Wood, who is leaving the FDA.

Nice.

Cherry Indigo