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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Tales from the Grocery Store

I’m not a big fan of grocery shopping. I’m not good at it. I don’t want to be good it. I am thrilled that other people in my life do the grocery shopping. I'm happy to go along on a shopping trip with someone else, but I don't want to have any responsibility. I will push the cart and can be sent on re-con missions for very specific items.

"Can you go get apples?"
"Sure, what kind?"
"Red"
" I don't like red."
"Then green."
"Okay, how many?"
"As many as you'll eat."
"Six?"
"Sure."
"Maybe just four."
"Then four."
"No, I'll get six."
long, exasperated sigh


I'm also very good at picking up random items and asking, "hey, you want to try this?" or just putting stuff in the cart at will. I don't get invited on many grocery shopping trips. My job is to wait at home and help unpack the car.

When left to my own devices...

My typical shopping list goes something like this:

Cat food / litter
Yogurt
Pineapple
Red Bull (I’m giving it up tomorrow – again)
Waffles

That’s for an entire week...sometimes two. Whilst there, I’ll also end up buying grapes and a magazine – maybe some goat cheese.

Tonight, however, was probably the stupidest shopping trip I ever made… I made it stupid. Okay, I was stupid on the trip.

Into the store I go… I get everything on my list plus Vanity Fair and a Boboli pizza crust. I’m a big advocate of the self-check out and that’s what I do. Bing-bang-boom….I’m done. Grab my bags and head home (only a couple miles away, if that)

As I’m unpacking the bags, I realize I don’t have the yogurt or pineapple. Oh no! Where ar-…shit. Left them at the store, I’ll bet. I call the store, they have my stuff…okay, I tell them, I’ll be right there.

Back to the store I go and get my bag. O-KAY! Good for the night.

Recall the Boboli pizza crust. When I saw it hanging there, I thought, “hey, I have pre-cooked chicken and Bar-B-Que sauce! Great! Easy dinner!” It’s a really good pizza combo.

The oven goes on and I’m about to get the chicken and sauce when I think…”something is missing.”

……… ………… ………….. Damn it!! CHEESE! I need cheese. I only have cheddar...and goat.

BACK TO THE STORE….but this time to Trader Joe’s, which is even closer then the first store.

My 30 minute grocery excursion turns into an hour, but my pizza was awesome.

This didn’t even have anything to do with why I don’t like to grocery shop. Now it does…but it didn’t before.

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