If You Hate Air Travel, Please Press 1 Now...
Whilst there is an entire blog to be written about my freaking fabulous Antigua vacation (or maybe that’s enough to cover it), I’m going to talk about the trip home first. Why, you may ask? Well, grasshoppa, because I want to end this “Lord of the Rings”-esque saga on a good note. In addition to that, I have to get all this down in writing so I don’t forget ANY of it for the letter US Air will be getting from me. This will get lengthy, I’m sure, so hunker down and steady yourselves. I started writing this on Monday and knew right away that it would be at least a two-part drama… I will put forth my best effort but I’m sure this will turn into a mini-series with many “To Be Continued” endings… DUNT DUNT DUH!! I need a cool name for it, like “The Thorn Birds”, “Rich Man, Poor Man”, or “Shogun”. Oh! I’ve got it. “US Air Sucks”. Catchy.My companion needs an alias. I will call her Kiki….it sounds like an island name and it’s fun to say. Go ahead, try it a few times to get in the spirit.
So it’s me and Kiki scheduled for a 10:20am Friday flight out of Antigua, direct to San Juan, with another hop to Philly, arriving at 5pm. Easy-peasy, right? We get up on time, we leave the villa on time, we get to the airport on time. Beautiful. Let the good traveling juju begin!! I am optimistic and wallowing in a pool of positive thinking.
After they stripped search our bags, putting my “delicates” on display for the viewing pleasure of everyone in line, we finally get to the counter. The single counter representative for Caribbean Sun airlines was in no big hurry to help anyone but she finally did and started booking us to San Juan, with a stop in Tortola. Huh? Stop? Oh, okay. It’s just a stop over to swap a few passengers. We still arrive at the same time in San Juan, right? Right. Okay.
OR, she says…
“There’s a flight that leaves 20 minutes later and is non-stop, arriving 20 minutes earlier.” (I haven’t figured out how to write that with a Caribbean accent so you’ll have to add one in your head. I think if you just add “mon” to the end, you’ve got what you need.)
Typically, I wouldn’t care about having 20 more minutes of a layover. However, San Juan is the first point of entry for the U.S. so I know we’ll have to pick-up our checked bags and clear them through customs. We’ll also have to check-in to the second part of our flight because, for whatever reason, Caribbean Sun counter chick says it’s too early to check in for that flight. Huh? The airport in Philly is open, check us in, damn it.
Anyway, the extra 20 minutes in San Juan seems good to me. I’m sure the Hindenburg seemed like a great alternative at first, too.
Okay, fix us up with that flight. Done.
Pay the “exit tax”. (what crap) Done.
Go through security. Done.
It was going through security that we found out some people use giant conch shells as weapons and we’re advised to check it next time. Next time? How many of these things does one person need? They’re pretty damn heavy and have those razor sharp edges…so I guess I could see them being used as a weapon.
Now we’re in the waiting area - time for some food!! Kiki stands in line for at least 30 minutes in pursuit of bagels and English muffins for us. We eat. We drink. We pee. Done, done and done.
We should board any minute.
Very soon.
Aaannyyy minute now.
Wow, I would have thought we’d be on by now.
Oh, here it comes…the announcement for our flight.
::bends to pick up carry on::
::pauses::
::looks at Kiki:: “Did she say delayed?” DUNT DUT DUH…
Shit. Delayed. And delayed some more. Then a wee bit more. Checking the watch…we’ll still be okay.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be combining flight 565 with flight 337, with service to Tortola and San Juan.” Tortola. Bloody hell. And the original flight with the stop over in Tortola? Oh yeah, it’s gone.
Up to the counter I go to check on the new arrival time in San Juan. Caribbean Sun chick #2 doesn’t know. They are currently transferring the records from one flight to the other. She’ll check….I never see her again.
Hmmmm…..I see the good juju indicator light flickering ever so slightly. We’ll be okay. We MIGHT have to catch a later flight to Philly, I tell Kiki. Might. Just, you know, be prepared for that. Just in case.
For the record, the reason we were delayed was because of something wrong with plane…or so they said. They can always fall back on saying they were considering our safety. We console ourselves with the fact that it’s better to get there late then not get there at all. Yeah. ::high five!!:: We sound convincing, too.
They did that thing small airports do where they let you pass through the gate counter and then put you in a line near the door where you can see the plane. Then they walk you out. It feels like you’re in elementary school, going to recess or lunch. It’s an adult buddy system.
We finally take off an hour late. They are still estimating arrival time in San Juan by 1:00pm, even with the Tortola stop. Our flight to Philly leaves at 1:45. We’ll be cutting it close.
We touch down in San Juan at....anyone? Oh yeah, you guessed it...1:45!!! Juju light is blinking a slow death. Optimism is waning. I can see Positive Outlook swinging from the overhead storage, laughing hysterically at me.
Well, I think, that was probably the worst of it…. DUNT DUNT DUH!!!
To Be Continued…
posted by Cherry Indigo (Cindy) @ 2/27/2006 07:48:00 AM
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