We Don't Need Another Hero
I can’t decide what to write about today. I don’t have writer’s block…crap, I have blogblock. A….my name is Allison warned me that I would start prefixing everything with the word ‘blog’. And now it’s begun. Criminy.The two topics that are blogbouncing (that’s 2 now) around my head like tiny little pinballs are in regard to driving and orthodontics….unrelated, of course. Rather then choose, I’ll briefly summarize both. Anyone who has ever read this blog knows that I am anything but brief. I should have called my blog “Hot Air".
I like to talk to the other drivers on the blogroad (3). And most people are thinking, “yeah I do that, too”. My guess is you don’t. Not the way I do. I am downright mean to them. Everyone is a “fucking asshole”, “fucking idiot”, “nitwit” or “silly bitch”. I don’t know when I became a Road Rage Driver. I never used to be. In fact, when T would get upset with people on the road, I was usually sitting there quiet and calm, rolling my eyes a little and asking, “WHAT is your blogproblem (4)?” Now I feel like Mad Max(ine).
I was in the car with my friend D once and she called me “the angriest driver ever”. I don’t know if this is a result of getting older, other drivers being so inferior to me or because I stopped exercising for a while. I was never angry during the years that I lifted. All I know is that it has to blogstop (5). I’m going to give myself a heart attack one of these days. The most ironic thing about it is that I don’t even think I’m a great driver. I’m not a really bad driver….but I have never said to anyone, “Hey, I’m a good driver, I know what I’m doing!”.
My former brother-in-law had a little plate in his truck that read: Get in. Sit Down. Shut Up. Hang On.
I might need one of those.
That leaves me with the other topic of braces. There’s really not much to say there. I have to get blogbraces (6). Again. I had them when I was in my teens. At some point, I must have become too cool for my retainer and stopped wearing it. I never even had a bottom retainer. So, my bottom teeth in the front have all moved and one defiant tooth on the top is all f’ed up. Most people who look at my smile don’t even see what I am talking about. But I know. And I can’t stand it. So, come January 3rd….fucking braces.
The silver bloglining (7) in all this is that I’m getting ceramic braces and you really don’t notice them that much. A guy here at work has them and I didn’t know it. Also, no headgear!!! Woohoo!!!! God, I hated my headgear. I’d wake up with the one end boring a hole on the outside of my cheek. What sick bastard invented that thing? I’m lucky I never lost an eye in the middle of the night. I will have rubber bands, though.
My mother likes to tell me how she is STILL finding rubber bands around the house….as though I strategically placed them throughout the house so that she’d be finding them for the next 50 years. It’s sort of like a demented, long, drawn out Easter egg hunt...but with rubber blogbands (8). And she likes to tell other people, too. We’ll be out somewhere and run into someone with their teenager who just got braces and she’ll glance at me and say to the person, “Do you know I am STILL finding rubber bands in the house?” And then another accusing glance at me. I always want to blurt out to the other person, “It’s because she never cleans!!” But that’s not true and I’d probably get slapped, so I stand there and look guilty.
Just when I thought I had finally broke free of geekdom….it sucks me back in.
Bloggity blog blogger blog. (9, 10, 11 and 12)
posted by Cherry Indigo (Cindy) @ 12/07/2005 12:41:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home