Return to Dawson's Creek....as fast as you can!!
I was visiting Barnes and Noble this weekend, one of my all-time favorite haunts, and picked up three magazines, one of which was Radar. I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen this particular magazine before or even heard of it. I hate to admit that the cover was what caught my attention (although that is the job of the cover) because it was graced by the Reverend Dr. Tom Cruise (or is that Dr. Reverend Tom Cruise?). It wasn’t even that it was him…it was the composition of the cover. Upon further review, the article was not so much about the ridiculous “romance” between Tom and Katie Holmes, it was about the manic zeal he has for Scientology and it posed the question of whether it is derailing his career (didn’t “Far and Away” do that already?). Well, I thought to myself, THIS could be worth reading.I’m off the subject of whether the Hollywood Pontiff is losing it…he clearly is. And I’m off the subject of whether or not he’s gay….he probably is and who cares. (Recent rumors have him and Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty in a tryst and the Rob Thomas part breaks my heart.) I’m even over the subject of his outrageous antics, in the name of love, on Oprah and Jay Leno and his tirade on the "Today Show"…again, he’s clearly lost it. At this point, lying on the couch would serve him better then jumping on one.
What I can’t get my head around is not the Tom Cruise part, I long ago pegged him as a bad actor and mental case. No, what I can’t understand is Katie Holmes in the role of modern day mail order bride. WHAT, in God’s name (or Xenu if you are a Scientologist), is she thinking? Is the payoff of being Mrs. Tom Cruise that alluring? (Give me an ‘N’, give me an ‘O’!) Is there more money involved then what God and Xenu have combined? Does she really buy into the “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” line? And has she not heard the stories that she wasn’t even first choice? According to the article in Radar and another that was posted and removed from E!Online, Tom went through a list of 18-22 year olds, trying his best to woo them into this horror movie he calls his life. The list included Scarlett Johansson, Kate Bosworth, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan and even the new Mrs. Ben Affleck, née Jennifer Garner.
I’m dumbfounded that Katie a) was gullible enough to fall for L Ron Jr.'s sales pitch and b) is going through with it when she has surely seen the press surrounding it. While I was not a viewer of “Dawson’s Creek” and think I have only accidently caught one full episode (the one where Pacey enters a female beauty pageant and Katie’s character Joey sings this awful, off-key song as her “talent” portion), I have to think she’d be better off finding another nice, sugary, sappy pseudo drama to star in where she can actually leave the set each day. The one she’s starring in right now should be cancelled before the wrap party even starts.
Katie, I hate to tell you, but you seem to be up Dawson’s proverbial Creek without a paddle. I suggest abandoning ship….and I don't just mean the Earthly kind, I also refer to the alien ship that Xenu and his merry, galactic alliance of 76 planets allegedly steers.
posted by Cherry Indigo (Cindy) @ 8/29/2005 10:51:00 AM
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