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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Pay It Forward

I passed a few school buses the other day...the truest sign that we are in the midst of autumn. I saw the cool kids in the back, acting like they owned the vehicle and, let’s face it, they do. When you’re 16 and already the reigning upperclassmen on the bus, you are the shit.

Perched upon their green vinyl thrones, they acted aloof when called for, charming when needed and dismissive of everything around them. They had carefully positioned themselves so no one could tell they were coyly pretending not to notice if they were noticed. You’ve done it, too, at some point in your life. You want to be noticed…but you don’t want anyone to think you want to know you’re being noticed. Huh? Yeah.

Long journey to my point...and I do have one. Seeing the school bus brought back a long ago, but never forgotten, memory of one of my own school bus rides. I’m not sure I’ve shared this with anyone...ever. That wasn’t a decision I made but simply didn't happen.

It was one of those Spring days that was bright and sunny but felt like the darkest, dreariest day you’ve ever have. The “one of those days” we groan about as adults...but applied to the year you were 12 or 13 (middle of the bus years). You know when you hear a kid say s/he is having a bad day and you long to have those “problems” again? Do you also remember how much of a very real problem it was back then? That was the kind of day I was having.

I can’t recall what made it a bad day. Had I failed an important test? Was I in the middle of a fight with my best friend? Did I feel overwhelmed with homework? Tripped in front of a crowd? Gotten hit in the head with a dodgeball in gym class? I don’t know the reason but I was taking one down.

I remember sitting at the stop light that went past Market Square and into our development. A stop or two and I’d be home. For the moment, however, I was slumped against the window, my forehead against the cool glass, staring at the intersection. I really wasn’t noticing anything, I was in my own little private hell...most likely of my own making.

The light changed and the bus started to lurch forward, gears grinding as the driver pounded the shifter into submission. My eyes focused again and a white car came into my line of sight...it must have been the first one at the light across the intersection. My eyes followed up the hood, slid onto the windshield and noticed the driver. She was waving and smiling...at me! Before I could even think, she had driven past and was gone. In a split second, I was smiling, too, craning my neck around to follow her car. It was as if she had tied a tow rope to her back bumper and dragged my worries (and mood) away with her.

I have no idea who she was, even though we lived in a pretty small community. I had no way of letting her know the way she changed that day for me. Everything was okay and I was so grateful that she took a few seconds to do such a small, simple thing that made such a huge difference. Something that still comes to mind every once in a while...something I know I'll never forget.

“A smile takes but a moment, but the memory of it lasts forever.” – Author unknown

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