Send Lawyers, Guns and Money
Comcast. Need I say more? (Of course, I will say more.)The people at Comcast have one job: Provide a strong, clear, CONSISTENT signal to my home. Wait, they have two jobs.
After providing that signal, bill me a small king’s ransom for it. (Is it called a small king’s ransom because of his stature or because it’s a small province over which he rules?) Anyway....
They are very capable at the second. My bill comes right on time, right to my mailbox, with a new charge built in whenever possible. I'm waiting for the day when they charge you for having a power button on the remote. The training program for the billing department must be stellar. Not so for the department that provides the actual signal.
I had some down time on Saturday…which is a rare occurrence….and decided to relax and see what movies were available via On Demand. Lo and behold, “The Natural” was on the list. Being such a good movie, I settled in to watch. Throughout the movie, there were these little pockets of signal breakups – the picture would be all broken up and appear as though it was underwater. Sometimes it would just be black. Fortunately, I’d seen the movie before and could follow along. That happened on and off for a bit and then seemed to settle down.
What I really couldn’t deal with was when it happened again at the end of the movie. I mean, c’mon! It’s the big dramatic, unpredictable finale! The entire game was on the line and it was so uncertain whether Roy Hobbs/Robert Redford was going to save the day or not. Who could have seen the bottom-of-the-ninth, two-outs, winning-run-at-the-plate, full-count scenario coming? Nonetheless, I could not have been angrier when the cable picked that moment to throw a fit. I missed the entire scene….the Wonderboy bat breaking, the heartfelt part where the bat boy brings out his homegrown bat for Roy, the ball hitting the lights and Roy running the bases amidst a shower of sparks. I was ready to throw the remote through the television. I even missed the part where Glenn Close, Roy and their little bastard son are on the farm, playing catch.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been trying to catch up on QAF or The L Word and the same thing has happened. It’s just infuriating.
I am so sick of being held hostage by the damn cable company who can’t even competently perform the one function on which they built their organization. And they KNOW they’ve got us. I have nothing in the way of a solution for this….satellite is not a solution in my book. So, I’m looking for suggestions.
I think it’s time to get rid of digital cable. The one thing I will really miss is the blue band on the bottom that tells you what is playing on that channel….it makes surfing very efficient. They should just sell that as a separate feature…I’d pay for that.
So as not make this a complete whine fest, I will add that the rest of my weekend was terrific. I even bought a grill. My friend, KB, calls it a “penis grill” because it has side burners and a drawer and 60,000 BTUs. It runs neither on natural gas or propane, but is powered by a big conister of testosterone. I love it. I even bought a cover for it….a grill condom, if you will.
The next time I see a Comcast techno-weenie in the neighborhood, I’m going to mow him down with my grill.
posted by Cherry Indigo (Cindy) @ 8/08/2005 12:34:00 PM
1 Comments:
We had the same damn thing happen w/our cable Sat nite too! Although we were not watching The Natural. Bastards.
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